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Home // Why arrange marriages are a preferred choice in South Asian community especially in Indian culture

 

Why arrange marriages are a preferred choice in South Asian community especially in Indian culture

Arranged marriages are being practiced globally depending upon different cultures around the world. They are very common in Africa, most part of Asia, and a good portion of Eastern Europe. In the age of online dating or Free-Choice Marriages, talking about arranged marriage sounds like an old school from millennium. Amazingly the concept of arrange marriages is still a preferred choice of many Indian parents. Since Forced Marriage (another word for arranged marriage) is an important part of our culture from the time immemorial. Many families still prefer to opt arranged marriage out of choice rather than free choice marriages. They strongly believe that the divorce rate of arranged marriage is still quite low globally.  What makes our society think about the success rate of arranged marriage???

A typical modern arranged marriage is a union between two prospective spouses chosen by parents, extended family, friends, acquaintances, or matchmakers from professional matchmaking agencies or maybe giving classified ads in newspapers. Mostly Parents or older family members of to be bride and to be groom use their resources and arrange the initial meeting in a family gathering which is very interesting and have a combination of intense emotions, anxiety, and nervousness. The girl and boy make their decision based on the physical appearance, educational attainment, and financial security of each other and how their families present themselves. The first meeting entirely depends upon the looks of both families. Both the boy and girl our questioned by the mother or sister of each, if they like the prospect or not. If yes, then they are given some more time to talk alone while other family members enjoy drinks and snacks arranged by girl’s father who is very stressful at this time. This is also the most awaited time for both families to know the choice of both the prospects and make a final decision. In some cases, parents of both the prospects make a final decision and do not let their son or daughter to make any change once the decision is finalized.

Basically, the relationship in an arranged marriage begins from not knowing each other, without any feelings. Both partners move together with time and develop love and respect for each other and for their respective families as they come close and spend more time together.

So, what makes this traditional system a success today???  Here are some possible reasons…

  1. In arranged marriage, your partner is totally a stranger. Both spouses take their own time to know and understand each other. The expectations are very low on both sides, everyone is very careful in talking and understanding the significant other, making sure not to hurt their feelings and offend each other. They are willing to make all sorts of adjustments and adapt new lifestyle at this point to keep their bonding and relation strong to make it a happy marriage. There are no regrets that you met a different person before tying the knot and now S/he is changed after marriage leaving a newlywed highly satisfied.

 

  1. Arranged marriage is practiced keeping in mind the families of both partners’ traditions, beliefs, cultural background, and nationalities with similar lifestyle. The importance of good family background, educational qualification, social status, and compatibility along with the upbringing of both partners is vital and of an utmost importance to have a great chemistry giving everyone a way to build good relationship with each other and respective families.

 

  1. Indian arranged marriage has astonishingly a low divorce rate worldwide. There could be several reasons. Usually in India only men decide to divorce. In very rare cases women are allowed to divorce. Parents and families advise their daughters to adjust with husband and his family. Even though women are educated but still it is not easy for her to survive in Indian society once she gets divorced or she is abandoned by her husband. People love to point finger on a divorced woman and make her life tough. Also, many Indian women in arranged marriage are not working or earning, they are housewives and are totally dependent on their spouses, so they are never allowed to raise their voice against their spouse and must adjust themselves. In other words, woman must adjust because of the fear of the society.  In arranged marriage parents or other family members are also involved. The girl not only marries the boy, but she is married to the whole family. No matter the boy and the girl are happily married but parents always think their children are not mature enough to decide. In Indian society parents have complete control and hold on their son and daughter-in-law. They believe that their children lack experience to understand the complexities of relationship.

 

  1. Whether it is an arranged marriage or a free choice marriage, one thing is very clear that it takes two people who are very responsible, honest, and committed for the union to succeed. The success of marriage lies in the mutual understanding, acceptance, and in mutual love and respect.

 

At the end of the day to make your marriage successful you must take a leap of faith and hope for a happy married life. Marriage is a gamble and there is no sure-shot way to predict its success. Keep in mind, “Pairs are made in Heaven” the remote control of our destiny and luck is in someone's hands, we know ‘HIM’ as “GOD the ALMIGHTY” so surrender yourself to the will of GOD and make sincere efforts to keep yourself “HAPPY”.

 

If you have a good or bad experience with the Arrange Marriage of yours, your sibling, a friend, or an acquaintance, please share your wedding story on our web page.

Why arrange marriages are a pr

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